Work at Home Food Binge

There's nothing like keeping me honest than being honest to myself and whoever in the world takes the time to actually read this.  I have three days to get done some important state reporting that I really want to have completed BEFORE I leave for Florida at o'dark thirty Thursday morning.  So I'm stressed with everything to do.  Anyone who knows me knows how many trips I seem to go on and how much I despise packing!  It stresses me out like crazy. This reporting stuff stresses me.  So after a morning meeting I came home to work in solitude and get lots done.  I worked while stressed, home alone, with the kitchen footsteps away.  Bad combination.

I've played many a mind games today trying to STOP thinking about STUPID food.  I'm in the second week of a two week gentle cleanse.  I say gentle because it is not as restrictive as other ones I have used in the past.   I'm trying to eat very clean and wholesome and I always drink tons of water.  I went a few days without caffeine but have had a small cup the past couple of days......ok... honestly... the past four days.... but who's counting.

Here's my laundry list of food binge today, my eating for the sake of eating because I like food and I like to eat food....

• Cofee w/ tablespoon foofoo cream
• Apple with peanut butter
• Shakeology shake (yum, trying to fill the chocolate craving)
• Another Apple with more peanut butter
• Salad w/ 2 oz chicken (loaded salad all veggies, no dressing, w/ avacado)

Here's where the munching came in:

• 100 calorie granola bar (now trying to fill the munchies)
• 1 serving of Pop Chips (that's all that was left and it might not have even been a full serving)
• 1 small bite size super dark ghiradelli chocolate with pbutter on top (Yep...I'm on a peanut butter trip today)
• 1 plum

Results of my binge food picking at the drugstore:

• 1 halloween fun size milk chocolate hershey bar (not worth it and I actually stopped there!  I wished I wouldn't have eaten it but running out to buy that halloween candy was tough! I'm glad I ate only one here)  
• 100 calorie pack smart pop popcorn
• 2 sticks of Extra Dessert flavored gum 

Finally it was dinner time:

• 1/2 c home made chicken soup w/ brown rice
• 1 c cabbage soup
• 3 halloween fun size kit kat bars (oops, one was worth it... turned into two... into three....then I yelled to my husband and told on myself so he'd come hide the candy)
• 1 c green tea 
• (Okay, I snuck in two more fun size kit kat bars before giving the candy up)

So here's the great thing about trying to pay attention to every morsel being put in the mouth EVEN during a binge day.....I'm PAYING attention and making the best of the worst choices.  I feel like I've been eating all day.  Probably because I have.  Today was not the greatest day for eating but I will get right back on track tomorrow.  That's all I can do is keep getting back on track over and over again until I get it right.  I think I'm getting closer to getting it right though.  I just gave the left over bag of candy to my hubby to hide and hold onto.  I know my limitations and my weaknesses.  I just can't put the stuff around me.  Period.

The night is not over.  Tomorrow is a new day.  I have time to work off what I did.  YES, that is what I will do now.  My work will wait.  I will go WORK off those kit kats.  And my new day tomorrow I will feed my body nutritious healthy fuel all day long and nothing else!  :)

Eat well and stay strong everyone.

PS....Extra Mint Chocolate Chip Gum is AWESOME!  Too bad it has fake sugar...but it's still good.

I'm All In! Ironman 2012

I'm all in!  Ironman 2012 is just over one year away and I have made the commitment, mentally, and soon physically as well.  I've come a long way over the last two years and want to prove to myself that I have it in me to keep pushing myself to achieve great things.  I have it in me to do more than I ever dreamed possible.  I have it in me to succeed at one of the greatest endurance events out there, Ironman!  I've been in awe reading fellow athletes stories about training for and competing in this event.  I've admired from afar the ability of these athletes than quite honestly I never dreamed I could ever achieve.  I was wrong and have learned a lot over the last couple of years.  Not only do I have this dream, I WILL achieve this dream!  I will compete in the Florida Ironman in Panama City November 3, 2012 and I will FINISH!

Wow.  I've said it.  Again. Outloud.  In a public way.  It's not the first time but as I am approaching the true start to this journey, it is becoming more real.  I leave in a few days for this year's Florida IM event.  I will be watching in awe the athletes that will be reaping the reward from all the hard training they have put in over the past months.  I have volunteered to work and will be handing out finishing medals from 9 pm until midnight. The excitement is building as this coming weekend approaches.  I will have the honor of handing medals out to athletes who will be like me.... the end of the pack.  There will be stories and tears and such JOY that will be felt.  I am honored and proud to have the chance to be a part of it.  I can't wait.

I am thrilled to have the opportunity to share in this new journey with my new friend Jennifer.  She will also be competing in her first Ironman.  So together, we will be sharing this experience.  We will train together and apart.  We will both be blogging our ups and our downs.  We will have each other to pick up when the training gets tough.  We will laugh, we will probably cry and I can only imagine whine a little along the way.  But no matter what, we will have each other to drag through to the bitter end, until it is ourselves that we are bringing over that finish line on the beautiful evening of November 3rd, 2012!